Written in Blood (WTF is wrong with me? #1)

Lovely, patient readers: I am perhaps almost as frustrated as you are at the time it is taking me to get all these “WTF is wrong with me?” posts written.  How best to deliver the flood of results and discoveries and accompanying abundance of awesomeness has been a constantly changing landscape in my mind for the last 6 weeks as this whole crazy thing has been unfolding.  My inability to decide how to break it down into the most meaningful and useful chunks is mostly what has kept me from writing anything, which is, frankly, ridiculous.

Today I woke up and decided to stop being ridiculous and just write.  My last thought on how to disseminate it all to you was by result, so I am going with that.  I have no doubt that if that approach doesn’t make sense you will raise your hand and wave.  I can always count on you to keep me on the {somewhat} straight and narrow.  The blood tests were the ones that came back first and got the ball rolling on where to start with unraveling the mysteries.

The various blood tests that I had done revealed all kinds of fascinating stuff: what was in my blood, what wasn’t in my blood, and what happened to my blood when a bunch of things were dropped into it.  I am only going to give the results that indicated where we needed to do some work.  If it’s not here, assume the result was normal or awesome.  Except in the case of food sensitivities where I simply got tired of typing as well as wanting to slash my wrists – you’ll see in a minute.

These are the {very short} cliff notes.  The full reports came with reams of notes, explanations, and complicated diagrams of Krebs Cycles and other things that would bore the pants off any of us who are not nerdy science geeks.  If you are a nerdy science geek then you may insert the right wording in your head where I have used language that the rest of us get.  Understanding enough of what was going on and making a plan to get well does not require one to be a scientist.  All you *really* need to know is what’s awry and how to fix it.  Simple is good.

What was missing (aka severe deficiencies) in:

• Vitamin C
• α-Lipoic Acid
• CoQ10
• All B vitamins
• Manganese
• Vitamin D
• Glutathione
• Homovanillic acid (HVA)
• Phosphoserine
• Arginine
• Methionine
• Alanine
• Glutamine

What there was too much of:

•  A bunch of acids with nauseatingly long, unpronounceable names which it makes no sense to detail
• Cystathionine

Note:

• Everything that there was too much of is directly related to the deficiency of B vitamins
• Deficiency of HVA and phosphoserine is directly related to the deficiency of B vitamins
• Deficiency of arginine, methionine, alanine, and glutamine is directly related to gastrointestinal dysfunction

What made my blood sad when they were added to it (Sensitivity testing):

• Potassium nitrate (food preservative)
• Sucralose (Splenda)
• Bunch of artificial colors
• Few molds
• Fluoride
• Ammonium chloride
• Tetracycline (anti-biotic)
• Almost every food known to man – including, but not limited to…apple, Brussels sprouts, all citrus (NOOOOOO!), mussels, salmon (this cannot be happening), almonds (wait, what?), asparagus, beef (THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT?), bok choy, melons, celery, chicken liver, coconut (WTH??) codfish, mulberry, mung beans, mustard greens, scallops, sole, string beans, tomato (ok, this is not ok), tuna (this is not funny any more), turkey (just stop it), venison, squash, arugula, yeast, beans, blackcurrants, blackberries, brazil nuts, mushrooms (now I’m *REALLY* mad), carrots, cashews, cauliflower (now you’re just being mean), chicken (is there life without chicken?), clams, grapes, kiwi, onions, papaya, peaches, pork (JUST SHOOT ME NOW), pumpkin, radishes, soy, trout, all peppers, a bunch of spices, a bunch of herbs, most dairy (I AM CRYING), bell peppers, blueberries, potatoes, all grains, all sugars, eggs (I AM GOING TO COMMIT A FELONY).

Other things that showed up:

• Mitochondrial dysfunction
• Need for methylation
• Toxic exposure to MTBE (common gasoline additive) and styrene

Lipids:

• Hemoglobin A1c: 5.8 %  *** this is pre-diabetic ***
• Cholesterol LDL: 208 mg/dL
• Cholesterol: 290 mg/dL
• Cholesterol/HDL Ratio: 5.47
• Cholesterol HDL: 53 mg/dL
• Triglyceride: 146 mg/dL

Treatment Plan #1 (September 1st)

Supplements:

• Multivitamin
• Mitochondrial support
• Vitamin D
• α-Lipoic Acid
• Heavy duty specially formulated B vitamins

Diet:

• KETO (very low carb, adequate protein, very high fat) diet – separate post coming on this!
• Elimination diet – foods I can eat:
  • Kippers (smoked herring), mackerel, sardines
  • Avocado
  • Cheese
  • Macadaemias, hazelnuts, pine nuts
  • 100% fat dairy – butter, heavy cream, sour cream, creme fraiche
  • Lamb
  • Pork
  • Duck
  • Bison

And you think following a SANE diet is hard???  SANE is the easiest diet on earth compared to this.  I CANNOT WAIT until I can eat a SANE diet again – it’s going to be like the holidays every damn day for my mouth.  Plus, now you know why there haven’t been any new recipes lately – not even I can conjure up anything with only that handful of things to work with.  If you’re staring at that list going, “So what else are you eating besides those things?  What veggies do you get to eat with that meat?”  NOTHING.  That list is it.

• Rotation diet:
  • No food from list above to be eaten more often than every 4th day
• Increase liquid intake
• Water must be bottled
• Keep food log and track any symptoms or lack thereof

**NOTE**

My list of permitted foods was made a lot shorter because of my need to be on a ketogenic diet.  I will explain this in a separate post.

This list of permitted foods is unique to me based on my test results and needs.  I am in no way advocating that anyone else should follow this list.

 Other:

• Reduce stress as much as possible
• Get as much sleep as you can
• Do not exercise or over-exert

I still had no idea what had caused all this, and I couldn’t necessarily correlate symptoms with test results yet, but finally I had something I could hang my hat on.  There, written in blood, were some things that were not right.  If you know me at all you’ll know that I embraced these results wholeheartedly and with a considerable amount of glee.

Clutching my bag of supplements I toddled off to the grocery store to stock up on all (!) nine (!) things (!) that were to feed me for the next (!) three-to-six (!) months (!), and so began the start of what has become a fascinating science experiment with my body as the lab.  I’m nearly 8 weeks in now, and boy is this journey turning out to be the best thing I ever embarked on.