It Can Be One Hell Of A Struggle

I just ate an entire tube of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.  UGH.  I hope that won’t make you think any less of me.  I know I am supposed to be the poster child for leaving the dark side and leading you all into the *SANE culinary light, but I can explain – I think.

I blame the meds.  Hey, hold on a minute!!  Meds?  I thought you were the epitome of health and wellness, Carrie Brown??  What do you mean, “meds”?

Let me assure you that my current condition is nothing whatsoever to do with food.  It has everything to do with extreme stress (none of which was at all related to anything *SANE – in fact, Bailor has been a peach through this whole crazy time), which lead to insomnia, which lead to even more stress – and the two together basically made me go mad.  OK, I’m not mad, but it sure felt like it at the time – and a few people around me would have been forgiven for thinking I’d lost it.  Like my Therapist and my neighborhood cop who came to rescue me.

Back in March, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder (I like to call it diabetes of the brain) after I tried to – how do I say this without being dramatic? – do away with myself, permanently.  In reality, my brain just got a little out of whack chemically – sleep deprivation and extreme stress will do that to ya – and now we’re working on getting those chemicals back in balance.  Once we have achieved that I should be able to stop the meds and ditch the Bipolar II Disorder label. I realize that you’re probably sitting there looking at these words sprawled across the screen thinking, “Are you kidding me right now??! We never knew, we never realized, you just kept on posting pictures, and being funny, and creating recipes, and posting posts, and recording hilarious podcasts…like everything was fabulously peachy in your world.”

Yep.  All I can say is – it has been one hell of a struggle. I still showed up at my 60 – 70 hour-a-week day job and kicked a**, and no one had any clue what I was dealing with – I even planned my demise at the start of my 3-day weekend so I would cause the least inconvenience to people at work.  Our bodies are amazing things when the chips are really, truly down and we need to perform.  In all honesty, I don’t know how I did it, either.

Before that {almost} fateful Thursday when Sergeant Todd heroically threw himself under my automatic garage door to stop me locking him out and giving myself the opportunity to do something terrible, my brain had been doing this, relentlessly, for a considerable time.  My brain has stopped that now, but there’s been some interesting repercussions to the meds I am on, which is really the whole point of this post.

Creatively my brain went nuts.  Hence the 8 flavors of SANE Ice Cream in one weekend where I had failed to nail SANE Ice Cream despite months of effort beforehand.

I have bright-shiny-object syndrome.  Ooooh!  Let’s cook something with brussels sprouts!  Sprouts are the most delicious green color!  I know, while the sprouts are steaming, let’s write about green tea!  I’ve never tried xylitol in green tea!  Let’s see what happens when I make xylitol melt!  Ooooh!  That was fun!  Oh the sun is out!  I think I’ll just go plant some herbs!  I love playing in the dirt.  Laundry!  Let’s do laundry!  I love my new dishwasher.  I know!!!!  Let’s build a kitchen!  In one weekend!  All on my own!   Gosh – let’s write a post on how being single can be wildly fulfilling!   Daisy – stop slapping Penelope!  Gosh, that’s a pretty vacuum cleaner!  I wonder how fast I can vacuum the den?  Let’s go to Trader Joe’s, spend $200 on glorious fresh food and then cook 58 new recipes in two days!  I love how I can look out onto my back yard when I am cooking now.  The lawn needs mowing!  I love mowing!  It’s warm out here.  Let’s eat ice cream!  I think I need an edger.  Let’s go to Home Depot!  Oooooh!  That’s the most beautiful rose-tree I’ve ever seen!  The scent of roses is like crack to me!  Let’s write a post on addiction!  Dougal – leave Zebedee’s ears alone!  I’m out of cotton buds!  Let’s go to Fred Meyers! This has been both highly entertaining and very annoying.  Typically I am focused and deliberate and very orderly.  I am learning to go with the flow more, and to be ok with that.  I am also learning techniques to keep me stay on track with critical things that have to get done in a certain timeframe – not something I have ever struggled with before.  I am embracing my new scatteredness while at the same time making sure I still get things finished.

Sitting down to write for longer than 4 minutes at a time has been an interesting endeavor, to say the least.  When you spend a large portion of your time writing blog posts and recipes, this can prove more than a little trying.

Being randomized externally sends me into somewhat of a tailspin.  Which is kinda ironic given my bright-shiny-object syndrome and my current attention span of 4 minutes.  I am acutely aware of external stressors now, and am working hard at reducing the major ones – hence my new day job :-D  If people get on me, and keep getting on me, and won’t stop getting on me, I may get a little snappy.  PS. Ice cream recipes?  I am doing the best that I can right now!!

My lips are so dry I have gotten through more lip balm in the last 2 months than the rest of my life put together.  A friend of mine has even started calling me Lipbalm.  I prefer his usual nickname for me: Orange Peanut.  I have lip balm on both my desks, in every kitchen cupboard, in my purse, my laptop bag, by my bed, in both bathrooms, and in the car.  The thought of being without lip balm is enough to spark a panic attack.  When I changed jobs the other week, I could not work in my new office until I had unpacked the lipbalm.  You know what happens when you burn your finger and the skin goes all smooth and tight?  It’s exactly like that only on my lips.  I wish I were joking.  Plus, I am still trying to work out how my body can be so discriminatory as to only let the meds affect the skin on my lips.

Can you say WEIGHT GAIN??!  Can you even imagine how I am dealing with this?  Until I get to stop taking the meds – it just is what it is.  It sucks, but I am alive.  Priorities, lovely people!

Carb cravings.   Seriously.  You know how I’ve always said that a day or two after I started eating SANE all my cravings disappeared?  I wasn’t lying.  Then in April I started taking this anti-psychotic medication for my Bipolar II Disorder.  O.M.G.  I feel like I am in the middle of a full-blown addiction here.  Which is exactly where this whole post started out – Pringles.  Bread.  Pringles.  Raisin Bread.  Pringles.  Bread.  Bread.  Bread.  Pringles.  The entire tube.  The whole loaf.  The whole loaf!  It’s not all the time, it’s like twice a week I become completely consumed with cravings – to the point where I have to leave the house in order to get my fix because my brain refuses to think about anything else.  I was reading online a few days ago about how researchers have now shown that sugar and starchy carbs trigger the addictive region of our brains.  I am living that right now, and I am here to tell you that it is very real.  UGH.  Don’t believe me?  Listen to this. This experience has caused a lot of deep thought – in 4 minute bursts – about the chemicals in our brains that control us, and all the processes in our bodies.  Sometimes they can cause us to think and do things we don’t understand or buy into.  I would hazard a guess that most of the time we just blame ourselves and beat ourselves up, when in reality we may well be powerless against whatever funky imbalance our brain has us locked into.  My short attention span is nothing to do with me – this behavior only started when I started these meds.  My dry lips are not a lack of self-care.  My cravings are real and uncontrollable, and I did not have them before I took these meds.  My weight gain is something that I am still working out how to control while these meds are merrily working against me.

NONE OF THESE NEW BEHAVIORS ARE MY FAULT.  AND NONE OF THIS IS IN MY CONTROL – other than I choose to take the meds. And while we ALWAYS have a choice – choosing not to take the meds at this point in time would likely have me in a coffin before the week is out. So I take the meds. What the meds do to my brain I just need to learn to live with, and manage, until I get to not take them. So I want you to know that it really may not be you that is the problem if you are struggling with fat loss.  There’s a bazillion things going on in our bodies that we aren’t even aware of – most of them good – but some of them not so much.  Maybe you have a variation of Bipolar Disorder that you are living with – either unmedicated, where your brain is sabotaging all of you daily, or medicated, where the meds are sabotaging bits of you daily.  Maybe you have another mental health issue going on – over which you have little or no control.  Maybe your medication – for whatever reason you take it – is disrupting your system in one way, while also fixing the initial problem.

I am NOT saying that you now get to blame any bad behavior on your brain, and not be accountable. I am saying be clear about what you ARE responsible for and what you aren’t. Understand what IS in your control and what isn’t, and then manage accordingly.  If you are in a situation where there are some things you can’t control right now, give yourself a break.  Do the best you can, and respect your limitations.  Most of all, be kind to yourself.

Without being overly gushy, I want you all to know that it’s YOU that has kept me going through this – and you didn’t even know it.  Being single, I’ve been fighting the good fight alone – save my therapist and a couple of girlfriends who were aware.  You all gave me a reason – a whole world full of reasons – to keep on keepin’ on.  Just by being there. Your comments on this website, your emails, your tweets, your posts and comments on Facebook. You never know when you might be touching a life in a truly profound way, with the smallest of gestures.

THANK YOU.

 

 

 

What does 'sane' mean? Click here...Want delicious uber-healthy recipes? Check out my Cookbooks!
  • Gordon - Hi Carrie. Thank you for having the courage and strength o open up and be you. I so respect you for doing that. To know the real person by our self disclosure, without being gratuitous or self indulgent, helps us to realise that none of us are perfect especially in this age of celebrity worship and fantasy worlds we make around us. You are an amazing person Carrie, I know you will be made whole and get through this. Sometimes being overweight is the lesser of our problems and we need to deal with the real cause. Stick close to your good friends, trust them with your feelings, and keep on being Carrie! XReplyCancel

  • MargieAnne - Sorry you have to take those meds but don’t let the side effects cause you to stop. You are a very special person and I love your writing, artistic talent and the way you manage the podcasts with Jonathon Bailor.

    Time to worry about weight gain when your brain sorts itself out. It’s a pain to deal with but you can do it when the time is right.

    Just know that all of us here are cheering for you.

    BlessingsReplyCancel

  • Sigi - Wow. Amazing piece, Carrie – thank YOU for sharing.

    And this bit:

    “I am saying be clear about what you ARE responsible for and what you aren’t. Understand what IS in your control and what isn’t, and then manage accordingly. If you are in a situation where there are some things you can’t control right now, give yourself a break. Do the best you can, and respect your limitations. Most of all, be kind to yourself.”

    TRUTH!

    Sending you many hugs and warm wishes to see you through this challenging time. xoReplyCancel

  • Nancy - Dear Carrie, You do so much for so many. Thank you. I hope this trying time gets easier for you sooner rather than later. Your honesty and candor in sharing your story helps me in my efforts to confront my devils/cravings. While you were eating the Pringles I was eating the Kettle chips. By the handful. In a hurry because I didn’t want to be “caught”. Anyway, bipolar or not, we all have our struggles. Again, thank you so much for sharing. You are so important to so many of us.ReplyCancel

  • Barbra - Thank you for being strong enough and brave enough to share your struggles with us Carrie. Even amidst all you are facing, your lovely, generous spirit shines through. Sending you warm wishes.ReplyCancel

  • Diana Steele - Dear Carrie, Your post brought tears to my eyes. Keep taking your meds! Your story and your recipes continue to inspire me in my own journey, on the good days and the bad. Your life is a gift! To me, to everyone listening to your podcasts, to everyone eating your recipes (hot and nutty cereal and seed porridge are absolute staples in my kitchen now), and to your friends and cats too. You know you will be able to regain power over your cravings when you are healthy again and your body will find the right set point again. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for sharing, and my very best wishes to you.
    Diana (one of Dawn’s Downsizers)ReplyCancel

  • Mary - Keep pushing through this, Carrie. We all have a journey we are on and yours happened to include bipolar.

    You are right — there are a bazillion things going on in our bodies and in our environments that are often beyond our control. Meanwhile, be gentle with yourself as you seek answers and try to determine what will work best for you.

    Namaste’

    MaryReplyCancel

  • Ellen - Carrie, I so admire your strength! You are one tough cookie, and I KNOW you’ve got this! Thanks for being yourself – honest and sincere and for sharing your struggle in such an open way. Even in self-disclosure, you are articulate and brilliant. Thanks for caring so for us all – and for letting us know that even during incredible struggles we should be kind to ourselves. Hoping you’re being kind to you, too! I’m glad you have close friends who can help you along the way. XOXOXOReplyCancel

  • Amy - Just a quick note to thank you for your honesty and sincerity, and for getting help when you needed it…. can’t imagine a world without Carrie Brown. I wouldn’t judge body changes in a cancer patient, and I don’t judge body changes in someone treated for Bipolar II— and I hope no one around you does, either! It’s thought of as a “mental health” disorder, but we know that the brain is connected to everything else, so having an imbalance affects everything. I know you’ll get this all sorted out, but give yourself lots of time and kindness, and you will get through it! Many internet hugs and TONS of support from here!ReplyCancel

  • Allisol - Wow. You’re a good woman, Carrie Brown. What kind of person goes through this and then turns it into a lesson to share with OTHERS? You are some kind of amazing, let me tell you. Most people would not be able to share that kind of personal information but we are all better off because you had the guts to tell the world. THANK YOU. Keep on keepin’ on. It’s no big deal about the weight, or even the pringles. Just take care of that mind first. Oh, and lip balm with coconut oil is the BOMB. It’s the best, I’ve found. This is a post that I will read and re read, for there are so many “aha” moments in there. Sending much sunny love, XXOOReplyCancel

  • Gary J Moss - Carrie, please check in with me. As you know, I have been taking mess for similar or just plain depressiveness (who really knows?) for over twenty-five years, so I speak with some experience, although the meds (and each med) affect us all differently. In brief, you may have to find a med that is better suited to you — without any apparent side effects (I have). And then make up your mind that if you are compelled to “go off,” you will always try to do it with quality (not chips, but something less junky, even partially wholesome, say, like a meatball sub). Please get in touch if I can help be supportive in any way.ReplyCancel

  • Marlys - Carrie, I love what you said at the end of this post. Thank you for being so brilliant with your recipes and also so open and real about the tough parts of this journey. As I ate my latest batch of Egg Foo Yums (what I call them) for breakfast I feel better even after having some crazy boursin stuffed mushrooms in puff pastry over the weekend. It’s just wrong how good puff pastry tastes, wrapped around a cheese stuffed mushroom. You rock Carrie. Keep up the good fight. We would all be so inSANE without you. :)ReplyCancel

  • Sheena - Thank you for sharing your journey and the twists and turns it has taken recently. I have just recently started reading your posts, and this one touched a nerve. I have been on stress leave for a year, and trying to find my way back to my true self. Thank you for the encouragement, and blessings to you on your journey.ReplyCancel

  • Kathy Pearce - Thank you, Carrie, for just being you…and for your honest,candid,and perfectly imperfect life! Love you dear friend!! <3ReplyCancel

  • Monica - Thank you for this post. I, too, am struggling with my brain chemistry. It’s comforting to know that there are smart, funny people out there who also have this….thing. Please keep writing about your journey!ReplyCancel

  • Deidre Edwards - Near and far, we keep each other going! Sharing your personal battles will certainly touch the chords of other sufferers’ hearts and also open the eyes of those who aren’t (currently suffering, but may any day). You speak like a prophet; revisit your wisdom often in dark times. The broader message applies to all of us at all times. Bless you, our friend!ReplyCancel

  • Katie - Carrie I feel so much for what you are going through. My Dad suffers from bipolar and we have had our fair share of ups and downs. It’s a tough diagnosis and the only thing I know for sure in terms of keeping sane and healthy is the strength within and the support of your family and friends. Thankfully it sounds like you have both. Your recipes are amazing and you bring such a lightness to the smarter science of slim, it wouldn’t be the same without you so keep up the good work.ReplyCancel

  • Gordon - Carrie…….you are loved beyond measure!ReplyCancel

  • Lorna Broad - Carrie…sometimes you just need the pringles… you are still very much our heroine!

    I am touched that you have shared this with us and all of us offer you much love and support. Please slow down and take good care of yourself.

    I suffered with anxiety for a year and was prescribed xanax, took it for a while but kind of scary and managed to find a fantastic homeopathic remedy. Good job really as the thoughs and ideas going through my head at 100 mph made me feel like I was going crazy…

    We are all here for you xxReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - Hi Carrie
    My heart goes out to you for all you have gone/are going through. No job is worth your health being affected by stress. Please be kind to yourself and take time to smell the roses and make sure you lean on your friends and accept any help they may offer. That’s what friends are for.
    I hope you feel better soon and that you will be able to toss all the meds and get back to living your life as you want to.
    You are such an inspiration for sharing your story. Thank you!
    Sending lots of hugs your way from downunder!
    Sylvia ((()))ReplyCancel

  • Simone - your lovely posts often make my day and I love listening to you on your podcasts with JB. Whilst I don’t have bi-polar I have periodic depression with anxiety thrown in and have been working my way through the loss of a pregnancy all the while putting on my ‘happy face’ and not letting the other woman at work who found out she was pregnant at the same time of how upset I am all the time at the tangible evidence of what was not to be for me. I’m writing about what’s been going on for me to empathise with you, and acknowledge how stressed, tired and wired you must have felt. I totally get it and think it is wonderful that you can speak out and share what is really going on for you. If I weren’t halfway across the world in Australia I’d come and give you a hug and say keep being strong and vulnerable, you are a lovely person and it will get better. The world needs more people like you in the world (not less!)xxxReplyCancel

  • Simone - Oh and I didn’t put in that mine has been ice-cream, bucket loads of it, but at least I didn’t reach for the bottle!ReplyCancel

  • Claire - Thank you Carrie, for such a fantastic, brave post. I’ve suffered with depression my whole life, and been on medication for the best part of 15 years. I function, that is to say, like you, I appear ‘normal’ on the outside – whatever ‘normal’ is!! But some days my brain tries to sabotage what I have, and I have to take action. It’s not easy, but as you said so well, the other option is to not be here – permanently. I spent years beating myself up for not being able to lose weight, but now, I just focus on eating healthy and enjoying your amazing recipes. Some days I still beat myself up, but that doesn’t happen so often any more. So thank you for your post, talking about mental illness isn’t easy.
    Big hug xReplyCancel

  • Jenna BROWN LaRose - I have known Carrie for the past 22 yrs. She was as awesome then as she is now. I have never seen someone ride the storms of life as gracefully as I’ve seen her do. She is a strong and selfless woman, always considering others needs before her own. I am so proud of her, but mostly I’m proud to call her sister.ReplyCancel

  • danielle - Carrie – thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. You are truly amazing….we all knew that before…and we were all reminded again! Keep on keeping on….pressing on to what lies ahead….great blessings as you are very present in your life and your journey. much love!ReplyCancel

  • Ladyp1234 - You’re amazing Carrie. I’m echoing someone above when I say that not only are you coping with trauma, but you are using it to help all of us too. I’m really sorry that you are having to deal with this, life certainly throws some tough things at us. It’s so good to be reminded that sometimes we have to go with the flow until we are able to regain control because I feel kind of guilty every time I reason with myself over that – if others haven’t experienced it they find it hard to understand. So keep reading your own posts and make sure you aren’t beating yourself up.
    Thank you. XxReplyCancel

  • Liz - My heart goes out to you Carrie! Hang on in there- although I hate people spouting just believe ‘this too will pass’- I know it doesn’t help the hell you feel now but as you can see you are loved. Check out ‘Sane New world’ by Ruby Wax I highly recommendReplyCancel

  • Ann - Carrie! I hope you know how much we love you! I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this mess. Depression genes run rampant on both sides of my family and so I can empathize. Although I’m not familiar with bipolar stuff myself, I know how much the chemical imbalances in my brain can run my life. I hope that sharing your plight is therapeutic as I am sure you will get tons of support from your fans :) Just to let you know, I am not on meds currently (I have been off and on and know how awful and yet sometimes essential they are), but I still struggle with carb cravings- a lot- in spite of eating sane. I just loooooove sugar (but not how it makes me feel) and I have been known to eat most of my husbands ice cream sometimes- yuk. However, I’d say that carb cravings should be the least of your concerns now. So what if you eat a can of Pringles and a loaf of bread from time to time? No beating yourself up about that! We are here for you, you are AWESOME and you will get better!ReplyCancel

  • Helen - You are AMAZING!

    I’m not sure you realise just how many lives in how many different places around the world you have had such a positive impact upon. I use your recipes all the time – I’m very grateful that you have given so freely of your time to help others on their journeys

    We all love you, stay strong, and more importantly – stay with US – we need you.

    Big HugReplyCancel

  • KanukGurl - You are so brave to share your struggles with us. It is a pleasure to read your posts, recipes, and life insights. Stay strong and keep fighting!ReplyCancel

  • lizzy - Thank you for sharing. My son has been diagnosed bipolar since 2008. We never understood the way his mind worked and now you have shed some light on that. I shared your post with him and he confirmed he has the same struggles. I wish I had been enlightened 5 years ago, I would have dealt with my parental frustrations differently and more effectively.ReplyCancel

  • Lorrie Heist - Thank you for sharing your story, Carrie. You have been an inspiration to many as well. I’m happy to have gotten to know you and call you a friend! Love you & praying for you.ReplyCancel

  • It’s A Book! » Carrie Brown | Marmalade and Mileposts - […] I was so wrapped up in dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s of the 26,135 words that now sprawl across 122 pages, dodging 42 images as they go, that  I almost forgot I had a blog.  I didn’t intend to just leave you hanging out there in the breeze; when this book project got rolling I fully intended to keep posting away over here as well – 3 posts a week – as is my want, but somewhere along the way my body reminded me that I am not actually superwoman, despite my brain’s repeated attempts to persuade me otherwise.  You can read about my brain’s recent tendency to do that here. […]ReplyCancel

  • A Little Curvy » Carrie Brown | Living a SANE Life - […] It Can Be One Hell Of A Struggle […]ReplyCancel

  • Monica - Wow. I think I just met my ‘similar.’

    I think you are lovely and wonderful and such a treasure.

    You give your all to something that has no element of satiety~people.

    I pray you *make* yourself take time to just ‘be’ . . . to close your ears to the nonstop demands, requests, ‘inquiries’ . . and rest.

    You’ll be all the better for it. Trust me, as difficult as it is, it’s true.

    Loads of Love
    Monica :)ReplyCancel

  • Lori (aka SierraSun) - {{{{{{{ HUGS CARRIE!!!! }}}}}}}}

    I’ve read your earlier posts on this and I wish there was something I could do for you. I don’t know if you can ever imagine how much you help people around the world. Whether it is developing and sharing those wonderful SANE recipes, the inspiring rapport and dialog between you and Jonathan in the podcasts, and from the heart in your blog posts.

    That second day of Creative Live, there were a bunch of people there just looking to be snarky and cause trouble. Doctor Mike and I tried to keep them in line – along with the CL moderators, but they were just mean troublemakers.

    It boggles my mind how people feel they have the right, or even the obligation, to criticize people about what they weigh. This had been my burden my whole life. I don’t know if thin people can even understand how hateful people can be when it comes to people with weight issues. In my opinion you are a slim beauty, but your true beauty comes from your heart. And if those people couldn’t see that – they are blind and hopeless.ReplyCancel

  • Kathy - Thank you, your words have touched me in a way that is hard for me to express. This is the first time I am seeing your page as I am new to this site but I believe there are no coincidences. You are an amazing woman look forward to seeing your recipes . Sending you healing energy and many prayers for your recovery.ReplyCancel

  • Viberadiant - I know what you mean about lip balm. I have an addiction to it and have a tube pretty much everywhere. And when I don’t have any, I freak out!ReplyCancel

    • carrie - Viberadiant – my lip balm addiction has somewhat subsided but I am still never very far from at least a couple of tubes!ReplyCancel

  • Jan - I just found out about you and Jonathan. I can’t get enough of both of you. You are fantastic together on the pod casts I have listened to almost all of them. I have spent allot of time ready your recipes and tried your cauliflower soup with pears, Fantastic!

    I loved your words of wisdom and hope your bipolar gets better soon. And you can dump the meds. We love your sense of humor and honesty your a Great friend to have!

    You Rock!!!ReplyCancel

  • Cheryl - You make my 2 hour journey to work and back enjoyable. I love your witty comments and had often wondered if you had bipolar. My sister has had it for over 20 years, She is an amazing strong beautiful woman just like you. I’m so glad you have friends like Jonathon to help you through this. You peoberbly know, good sleep routines, no caffeine in afternoon and limiting using computer at night as that can mess your body clock can help. You rock Carrie Brown xxxxxxReplyCancel

  • Kaitlyn - Carrie- I too have to say that I had no idea this was going on in your life. Everytime my fiance and I listen to your podcast, we love the introduction when you say “Eat Smarter, Exercise Smarter, Live Better! I am so ready for that!” That has literally become your tag line and we say it all the time in our house!

    Sorry for the hurt and the pain and the medications. Just know that you have inspired me to be healthy. Without your cookbooks, recipes, and podcasts with “The Bailonator” I would still be thinking everything was my fault and that I would be fat forever. I understand your struggles, just know that you are amazing and you have become my personal hero. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us!ReplyCancel

  • Gigi - Wow, you have been amazing productive through all of these trials. Remember, you are not a weight. You are not a list of accomplishments. You are not what you do for a living. You are a wonderful, fabulous human with strengths and faults, and grace. Be gentle with yourself.ReplyCancel

  • Francesca - Carrie, Thank you for all you contribute to the world, for the strength of character you have and for being a living example of hope.
    PS I love the podcasts and your blog and keep a folder of your recipes on my kitchen worktop. I’ve purchased your books to spread SANE-ness to my friends and family.ReplyCancel

  • A Veritable Transformation » Carrie Brown | Life in the SANE lane - […] result, especially bearing in mind that it had not been my focus, and given my struggles since my weight-loss stalled earlier last year.  That whole stalling deal was pretty annoying for the girl who is supposed to be a poster child […]ReplyCancel

  • Paula - My Doctor says it takes about 2-6 years to get a medication combo that works well for BP. It took me three years. I don’t have the bad cravings so much anymore unless I eat anything sugar then all bets are off. Wish I had your energy! My brain actually has me narcoleptic right now. It’s soooo not fun. Good luck managing your BP. There are a lot of us out there. -Paula BP type 1, diagnosed 4 years agoReplyCancel

  • cheryl meyer - Hi Carrie,
    You are an incredible person that I have never met but already love. My best friend and sister in law has bipolar. She is the “best” person I and everyone else knows. Through a fluke she found an experienced psychologist that helped her psychiatrist with the correct meds. Please don’t give up. You can find meds that will work some of the time and possible most of the time. She, her husband and their two dogs, and one cat live up in the beautiful mountains of Colorado Springs near the Broadmoor. God bless.
    Cheryl (Texas gal)ReplyCancel

  • It’s All In The Genes » Carrie Brown | Life in the SANE Lane - […] after I was diagnosed with Bi-polar II disorder some 2½ years ago I have been pushing against everything about it.  At first I was all, […]ReplyCancel

  • Lotta - ReplyCancel

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